Termination: How To Prepare Yourself- And Your Employees

(Disclaimer: I’d like to begin first by saying that NOTHING I am about to write has anything to do with the legalities of terminating an employee. I have zero legal background, and won’t purport to pretend I do. What I am about to tell you is the people side of letting someone go, which, like everything else, will impact not only the mechanics of your business, but the overall culture: your people are watching and taking note.)

Okay. On to the topic then.

Recently, I took part in a thread on a social media group that surrounded the impending act of terminating an employee. This was not the first time, nor will it be the last, that this subject will come up. Always looking for ways to improve a situation, approaching them with empathy, indeed-kindness, while taking on the “hard” part of managing people, I chimed in. According to the VIA Survey from the VIA Institute on Character, my TOP five strengths are:

so it’s of very little wonder why I lead with Hope and Kindness when I address things! (If you’re interested in taking the VIA Survey, click here– this is the free version. If you’d like to learn more about how to use strengths to improve your overall happiness at work or home, see the note at the end of the article.)

Impending Doom

I am personally unaware of a single individual who will take pleasure in terminating an employee, even when things are really bad. The nature of most business management necessitates this act, and the black cloud of impending doom hangs heavily over our heads as we prepare for the event. Much must be considered as we approach the task, the mental preparation being just as important as the legal paperwork you are required to compile.

When we are in a calm, controlled emotional state, we possess the presence to proceed with clarity of purpose. It’s important to not lead with negativity into the event, even when things have begun to spin out of control. A few reasons why:

  1. You may say or do something you will come later to regret;
  2. You may actually forget something;
  3. Your remaining employees are observing how you handle it;
  4. You might negate your beliefs and values by acting against your type;
  5. And most importantly, you’re about to have a lasting impact on someone’s life and livelihood.

I can’t drive home the last point enough: how you terminate someone will effect them financially and emotionally. Many managers don’t see past how removing a poorly performing individual helps or hinders the business. Yet when that person exits the office for the last time, they must still go on.. and dealing with a job loss is hard. There may be bills to pay, children to raise and spouses to account to. This isn’t said to dissuade your decision, but to help you understand how being kind and executing the task with empathy can (ultimately) help them.

Termination Time

So, it’s D-Day. Ground Zero. You’ve done what you can to bring the person around (if performance was the issue) have documentation to support your decision and a witness prepared to join your meeting. (A word to the wise: call the employee in before the witness, it’s much less intimidating for them.) You have center stage, the spotlight and the microphone:

  1. Be clear, factual and upfront: do not beat around the bush. Immediately tell them that the reason you’re meeting is because you’re terminating them.
  2. Be kind and show empathy: perspective taking as you enter the conversation will help you. Make time to consider how you would feel if the person losing their job was you: You have bills and a family, too and know how losing your livelihood will cause chaos.
  3. Choose your words with care: they might not be the best fit for you, and they probably know it, too. Remind them that while this is a difficult situation, ultimately they wouldn’t have great job satisfaction if they remained and that a good fit awaits them. Furthermore, explain that every person should strive to do what they find a passion for in a place that will challenge and grow them.

That’s it. Please avoid dragging it out, pontificating and recalling your past experiences of having been terminated. They don’t care. But that last little seed I offered up- reminding them that somewhere is a place they can eventually call work-home, will sit itself in their mind to reflect upon later.

Telling Your Remaining Team

It’s my hope that going into the termination meeting you didn’t discuss this with your other employees as it just adds to the melodrama and undercuts the culture of the office, even if it were well-intended.

Once the employee is gone, it’s up to you to let them know that a change has been made and until (if necessary) a replacement is found, you will need to shift some workloads around and that you appreciate their help. Avoid going into details and remind your team that gossiping serves no one and goes directly against the values the company upholds. It might also be prudent to reassure them that this was situational and you aren’t planning any other lay-offs (if appropriate). Keep in mind, too, that many times friendships exist outside of the workplace and you may have just let a key employee’s buddy go.

Reflecting Back

I feel it’s important to remind you all that before taking on the task of terminating someone, you should reflect upon yourself as a leader:

  • Did you provide the employee with the tools and resources they needed to be successful?
  • Did you meet with them regularly on a coaching basis to develop them and engage them? To help them understand and achieve overall accountability?
  • Were you supportive of their endeavors, not overloading them or tossing them into waters too deep to navigate?
  • Did you lead them in a way that wasn’t demeaning or micromanaging?
  • Did you resort to “ghosting” them when they needed you or firing off rude or nasty comments?
  • Did you, at the outset, hire right?

If you find you may be lacking in any of those areas, while you might have failed them, ultimately you have the opportunity to be better with the employees you have, as well as future hires. Looking in the mirror is oftentimes hard, but leading people means we lead ourselves, first.

Be a good leader of people.

Until next time,

Peace, Joy and Success

**A note on the Via Character Strengths mentioned above: that assessment is completely free and offers insight into the character strengths and virtues we lead with as people. Seeing strengths that rank lower on your score does not necessarily mean that they aren’t important to you or that you don’t use them.

It simply indicates how you typically approach situations. The beauty of being human is that we have the capacity to activate a strength when needed, and that we similarly possess the ability to develop lesser strengths. If you’d like to further explore how to go about utilizing them for yourself and/or your team and company, please reach out. As coaches, it is one of the tools we use to help build great workplace cultures… and people. Happiness matters, and we can all learn to be happier in all we do with a little guidance.***

Click here for more information.


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Ascendant Dental Development LLC is built on the solid foundation of positive communication, both in the workplace and personal space. As a certified coaching resource with over 30 years in the dental field, we bring a new twist to dental practices and staff, focus primarily on leadership, team-development, communication skills, and workplace culture. We offer in-office workshops, individual coaching and also provide lectures to larger groups. We are proud members of many organizations including the Academy of Management, the Institute of Coaching, the Via Institute and others. We are currently filling our schedule for 2019-20 and encourage you to call us Toll Free to learn more

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