Tension so thick you need an electric saw to cut through it: two (or more!) employees simply can’t get along and it’s causing you to dread going into the office these days. You hired smart, but after the honeymoon period was over, little land mines began popping up eventually threatening nuclear war.
Hey- they’re great workers otherwise, but their obvious disregard or disrespect for one another has spiraled out of control and is spilling over into the entire office. (Can you see it: huffing and puffing, eyes rolling, closing doors a bit too loudly or heaven-forbid engaging others in their gossipy complaints of one another.)
Some management experts would tell you to simply demand they “knock it off”… but really, what’s the likelihood that will solve the problem to a point of restoring harmony? You can “tell, tell, yell” all you want, you can threaten to terminate, but unless you’re actually committed to terminating, telling and yelling isn’t going to solve your problem, is it? (Nor, by the way, is avoidance.) Clashes between workers cause untold stress for the entire organization as well as decreased productivity.
Why People Clash
These clashes may arise for any number of reasons, but assuming it’s nothing more than personality is misleading. Maybe your business used a “personality” indicator test to “hire right” , and as the Harvard Business Review once noted:
using the example of ‘an ENTP and an ISTJ having a hard time working together is as relevant as saying a Capricorn and a Sagittarius will, too.’ People not “getting along” is much more nuanced.
Which leads us to the reasons, and areas, you can identify to help fix the situation:
Different Work Styles
- Fast movers or slower on the uptake: people with different approaches to the speed at which they work often become frustrated with the one another;
- Highly organized or a bit more frenetic or laissez-faire: this could drive people with opposing approaches batty;
- Interdependent tasks where people aren’t pulling their weight: easy to see where frustration stems;
- Idea conflict- opposition towards one approach over another;
- Some may be more punctual than others, and so on.
Undefined or unclear roles
- Does one person feel superior due to experience level or length of employment?
- Are there overlapping areas where one assumes unreasonable ownership?
Background differences
People come to work with a myriad of cultural and socio-economic biases, and as much as we’d all like to pretend they either don’t exist, or they won’t play a role in “getting the job done”, they do. Whether religious, educational, political or gender-based, to name a few, it may not be overtly displayed but they are still entrenched in people’s minds and if unchecked, often color people’s opinions of one another.
Poor communication
Yes, you knew I was going to go there: miscommunication and mistaken communication are HIGH on the list of why people don’t or won’t get along.
When people speak with one another, the natural tendency is to “fill in the blanks”… we may be saying one thing, but our coworker is conditionally inclined to add, in their own mind, to the “back story”. When you couple that with people who can’t communicate effectively in a way they each need, those trip wires begin to set off. Have that happen long enough? You, and your employees are going to have a serious problem.
Unfair competition
Time to look in the mirror: have you created an environment that pits employees against one another? Think about it: have you showed favoritism, created bonuses that exclude people, or maybe an unhealthy set of metrics that they must meet to “win” your approval? Are you prone to recognize some people with complete disregard for others, simply because you might not like them as much or they are quieter and don’t seem to need praise?
Fixing Things
So, you’re all in this mess, you don’t like to be uncomfortable (who does?) and it’s affecting everyone. What do you do about it? Hopefully, you get a grip and try to remedy the situation before that mushroom cloud hits if, for no other reason, than to save not only your sanity, but the overall culture of your business. That said, let’s take a look at your options:
Talk to your employees
Don’t stop reading here. Talking, in this case, means asking questions and listening. Seriously: Ask and then close your mouth. If you’re not finding the answers you’re seeking, ask more. Just by saying “and what else?” invites them to continue sharing, and if you’ve learned the concept of ” leader as coach” you’ll be able to effectively get the most from your employees- and on a regular basis. During conflict, it’s even more critical, because like any treasure hunt, asking and then listening will allow you to find the clues to the underlying cause.
Find a communication course
Not just for yourself, but for the entire team. Like I mentioned above, when people can’t really understand each other, they’re going to create their own version of what’s being said. Let’s remove uncertainty, ambiguity and negative reactions by replacing them with ways to listen, to hear and to comprehend. Added bonus: communication training also helps you connect to your clients.
Consider adding conflict management skills
Managing large groups of people? Even more important. Do some deep-dive research into conflict management, but be certain that what you choose to take away is focused on achieving positive outcomes. Remember, if you could eliminate that conflict, they’re really solid employees. You needn’t be conflict-negotiation level, but a basic understanding of managing conflict will go a long way. In areas where work-style is an issue, helping define solutions is crucial.
Help people understand-and accept- their differences
There is little we can do to remove the biases people carry around with them, but we can expect them to be respectful of one another’s differing view points. This one is a non-negotiable. There is no room for people to cast their assumptions of a certain background upon one another.
Differences in work style, if you’re okay with it, is something people need to understand and appreciate. Perhaps the “slower” employee is more detail-oriented. Find a way to help the speedy one find value in her coworker’s attention to detail and how they actually complement one another. Encourage them to take on sub-tasks that capitalize on these strengths to better serve all. A side note about strengths: you want your people to understand the areas where they each shine and to allow them the space to do it in. If you are identifying and communicating them to the entire team, they can more readily support one another.
Deploy a respect clause
No matter people’s differences, everyone deserves respect. You, therefore, should have a no-tolerance policy regarding blatant disrespect. Employees should be offered ample opportunity to come to you and their co-worker with areas of concern, but it is conditioned upon respect. The overall values of your business should include this and be communicated regularly. If you’re having one on one’s in a coaching setting, use that time to drive the point home with someone who is lacking: asking them how they would feel if someone was disrespecting of them, how showing disrespect causes others to be less productive thereby impacting the mission and vision of the business. And don’t simply TELL them– phrase it as questions they have to think about it before responding.
In the Final Analysis
Conflict is inevitable, a fallout of simply possessing our own opinions, our way of functioning and interacting. How we choose to respond to differences is often conditioned into us early on, and then sometimes, people just ” rub each other” the wrong way. The other inevitable is that people need to work together and you need employees to help run your business. A good portion of leading and managing people is helping them navigate through their differences in a respectful way that doesn’t detract from job satisfaction, morale or your bottom line.
Until next time,
Peace, Joy and Success!
Our Launch Program has been specifically designed to get you leading and your team communicating in a way to better help you all avoid unnecessary conflict, to teach you the skills necessary to effectively create a wonderful culture. Check out the link, and call or email for more information. 
Ascendant Dental Development LLC is built on the solid foundation of positive communication, both in the workplace and personal space. As a certified coaching resource with over 30 years in the dental field, we bring a new twist to dental practices and staff, focus primarily on leadership, team-development, communication skills, and workplace culture. We offer in-office workshops, individual coaching and also provide lectures to larger groups. We are proud members of many organizations including the Academy of Management, the Institute of Coaching, the Via Institute and others. We are currently filling our schedule for 2019-20 and encourage you to call us Toll Free to learn more
833-876-TEAM ( 833-876-8326 )
